anguish

i dont feel right today.
i dont feel like i am losing weight
i feel in fact like i have been wasting my time.
i dont like it.
I guess Im just going to have to find a way to eat less.
on top of all this.
Im so frusterated.
i begging god or gods or whatever higher power is out there.
help me stop feeling this way.
i just want to cry.
:(

Im back! 7 lbs total

So it took me 2 days to get back to purple but I kept eating right.. No matter how badly i wanted not to
the night of the bbq pork rind incident, I went ALL out. but not really. lol..

i went to a lia sophia party
I drank. i had regular vodka with seltzer
and a beer and vodka with diet cola.
i mostly stayed low carb when i ate really just vegitables and cheese at the party. i accidently ate a carrot
ooops.
and i bought a fifty dollar peice of costume jewlery and hung out at the bar..
I kept telling people i went to a tia tequila party... (i was trying to say lia sophia)
gotta say it was nice.
but the next day i hopped right back on.excersised and have been eating right
since then there hasnt been much to note,
Untill now.
My test is back to purple and I have officially dropped 7 lbs.
sweet!
I am having a very productive day and am planning on going on a run with my doggah
cleaning, and repairing my house
and if i have any energy left doing a work out video.
I'll let you know what happens.
later!

First failure.. :(

Day four
I wake up, watch low carb cooking shows, eat eggs and sausages and go out with my dog.
I was in ketosis last night i weighed 4 pounds less this morning. I was sooo damn purple.
untill the pork rinds.. i got hungry again
when i went out shopping.. :( so while i was out i bought a bunch of pork rinds.. :( most of them
bbq.. on the nutrition facts it said it had no sugars and half way through the bag i saw that sugar
was the third ingrediant listed.. WTF!!
i run home after running my dog around, and test my pee..
beige.
If i knew this was going to happen, i would have gone out drinking last night like i damn well wanted to.
Not ate some frikkin stupid pork rinds! I dont even like pork rinds! argh!! i just wanted something crunchy!!!
whatever.. gotta start over i guess.
ttyl.

KETOSIS!

day three.
I am in ketosis! i bought the strips today and i am purple as aaaaaa... purple thing!
oddly enough, the only thing that im really missing is going out.. i wonder how many michalob
ultras one can have before they fall out of ketosis?
Im not gonna tempt it just yet..
yet..

starting on southbeach.

Alhough I have been excersisng and attempting to diet, weeks have passed and i have yet to lose
any real weight.
So, yesterday i stowed all the carbs and sugars off my cabenet shelf, and gave away a lot of it
and found this list and started eating low carb.
so yesterday this is what i consumed.

sausage onions and peppers with scrambled eggs w/ cheese

went to mcdonalds cos i got really hungry and ate two mcdoubles, no bread no ketchup

steak tips and roasted asparagus.

when i craved sweets.. (and i did) i nursed a bottle of speite zero because it has no carbs calories or caffiene.

TODAY
I have had so far
breakfast
bacon and scrambled eggs

lunch
giant garden salad with Kens italian dressing. and fat freeze mozzerella cheese.

also i got over myself and asked for an hour to work out in the livingroom..


so far today, I feel prettier and more motivated. cool.. I'll take that.
I will be making this list my bible for the next two weeks and deciding where to go from there.
;)

eats today.
banana
peperoni florentine omlet.
old cold coffee over ice
YOGA!!!
I started feeling really shakey and wondered if i needed sugar,
If i had looked back at my breakfast i would have known that it was my
hypercaffinated from age coffee i drank.
maybe i was just looking for an excuse to eat-
the other half of that klondike bar.
1 slice of moms roast beef
some chicken broccoli ziti at my moms.
1 freeze pop
a half a small plate of hamburger helper.. seriously little.
although I am not proud of eating so late at night I am proud of how little i did!
and that is seriously, truly honestly everything i put in my mouth yesterday.

pm

eats yesterday.
Keilbasa Onions peppers eggs and a chocolate croissant

lunch- turkey club.. (even though i was cooking cheesburger clubs)

1/2 klondike bar. (saved the other half for another time)

dinner- Baked gortons fish, and the inside of some spinich pie.. got rid of the crust
because i dont care if its there or not.



i feel like i ate pretty good yesterday.
not a lot of snacking and not a lot of junk food
no exercise though..
Im going to have to work on that today after breakfast which
is going to have some kind of eggwite spinich and feta omlette
because i dont care for the spinich pie i had last night Im going to turn it into something else :)