anguish

i dont feel right today.
i dont feel like i am losing weight
i feel in fact like i have been wasting my time.
i dont like it.
I guess Im just going to have to find a way to eat less.
on top of all this.
Im so frusterated.
i begging god or gods or whatever higher power is out there.
help me stop feeling this way.
i just want to cry.
:(

Im back! 7 lbs total

So it took me 2 days to get back to purple but I kept eating right.. No matter how badly i wanted not to
the night of the bbq pork rind incident, I went ALL out. but not really. lol..

i went to a lia sophia party
I drank. i had regular vodka with seltzer
and a beer and vodka with diet cola.
i mostly stayed low carb when i ate really just vegitables and cheese at the party. i accidently ate a carrot
ooops.
and i bought a fifty dollar peice of costume jewlery and hung out at the bar..
I kept telling people i went to a tia tequila party... (i was trying to say lia sophia)
gotta say it was nice.
but the next day i hopped right back on.excersised and have been eating right
since then there hasnt been much to note,
Untill now.
My test is back to purple and I have officially dropped 7 lbs.
sweet!
I am having a very productive day and am planning on going on a run with my doggah
cleaning, and repairing my house
and if i have any energy left doing a work out video.
I'll let you know what happens.
later!

First failure.. :(

Day four
I wake up, watch low carb cooking shows, eat eggs and sausages and go out with my dog.
I was in ketosis last night i weighed 4 pounds less this morning. I was sooo damn purple.
untill the pork rinds.. i got hungry again
when i went out shopping.. :( so while i was out i bought a bunch of pork rinds.. :( most of them
bbq.. on the nutrition facts it said it had no sugars and half way through the bag i saw that sugar
was the third ingrediant listed.. WTF!!
i run home after running my dog around, and test my pee..
beige.
If i knew this was going to happen, i would have gone out drinking last night like i damn well wanted to.
Not ate some frikkin stupid pork rinds! I dont even like pork rinds! argh!! i just wanted something crunchy!!!
whatever.. gotta start over i guess.
ttyl.

KETOSIS!

day three.
I am in ketosis! i bought the strips today and i am purple as aaaaaa... purple thing!
oddly enough, the only thing that im really missing is going out.. i wonder how many michalob
ultras one can have before they fall out of ketosis?
Im not gonna tempt it just yet..
yet..

starting on southbeach.

Alhough I have been excersisng and attempting to diet, weeks have passed and i have yet to lose
any real weight.
So, yesterday i stowed all the carbs and sugars off my cabenet shelf, and gave away a lot of it
and found this list and started eating low carb.
so yesterday this is what i consumed.

sausage onions and peppers with scrambled eggs w/ cheese

went to mcdonalds cos i got really hungry and ate two mcdoubles, no bread no ketchup

steak tips and roasted asparagus.

when i craved sweets.. (and i did) i nursed a bottle of speite zero because it has no carbs calories or caffiene.

TODAY
I have had so far
breakfast
bacon and scrambled eggs

lunch
giant garden salad with Kens italian dressing. and fat freeze mozzerella cheese.

also i got over myself and asked for an hour to work out in the livingroom..


so far today, I feel prettier and more motivated. cool.. I'll take that.
I will be making this list my bible for the next two weeks and deciding where to go from there.
;)